#gifs

Beorn From ‘The Hobbit’ Is Going To Jail For Being A Real-Life Cocaine Bear

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Mikael Persbrandt plays shape-shifter Beorn in the last two Hobbit films, and his criminal conviction reminds us of the Cocaine Bear meme.

VATICAN

In A Shocking Story, Cocaine Was Seized By German Officials Headed To The Vatican

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Cocaine was found headed toward the Vatican by German officials. You'd think praying was enough.

#CONAN

Conan Rides A Mechanical Bull In Honor Of 'Dallas Week' And We Wildly Speculate Possible Alternatives

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Conan is heading to Dallas for a week of shows and he's bringing his mechanical bull with him.

#COMEDY CENTRAL

Must Watch: The Hilarious Cocaine Segment From The Series Premiere Of ‘Review’

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"Review" very well might be the funniest new show of the year. Here's a good example why.

#ARCHER

‘Archer’ Went All ‘Breaking Bad’ In A Portion Of Their New ‘Archer Vice’ Title Sequence

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Is that the organic synthesis of cocaine in the background of Aisha Tyler's portion of the Archer Vice title sequence?

#gifs

Martin Freeman Credits Cocaine For The Success Of ‘The Hobbit’

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This Martin Freeman interview from the premiere of 'The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug' is pure gold.

#STEPHEN COLBERT

Naturally, Stephen Colbert Had Something Hilarious To Say About The GOP Congressman Caught In A Coke Bust

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Tea Party Congressman Trey Radel pled guilty this week to purchasing an 8-ball of cocaine from an undercover cop. Cue Stephen Colbert.

#CONAN

Allow Conan To Show You How Bad Oreos Are For You

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Oreos are seriously detrimental to your health; as bad as cocaine is, apparently. Yes, it may be news to you and I, but Oreos are apparently THAT addictive.

studies

Horrifying Study: Oreos May Be As Addictive As Cocaine

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A recent study suggests that high sugar snacks like Oreos may be just as addictive to people as drugs like cocaine.

#Star Wars

Carrie Fisher Says She’s Coming Back For ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’

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Carrie Fisher confirmed she'll return as Princess Leia in 'Star Wars: Episode VII', but it's Carrie Fisher, so it may all be a drug-fueled hallucination.

SNOW WHITE

THR profiles the Worst Oscars number of all time (with video)

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Hollywood Reporter is doing some solid work today, catching up with Eileen Bowman, an actress who, in 1989, played Snow White opposite pre-<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rob_Lowe#Sex_tape_controversy" target="_blank">sex scandal</a> Rob Lowe in one of the most disastrous Oscars musical numbers of all time.

dumb ideas

‘Bang With Friends’ Will Allegedly Help You Find Friends Who Are DTF

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Here's a pro tip: if there's a friend you're dying to bang, just get some cocaine, have them do lines with you, and then go dancing. You're welcome.

unnecessary sequels

Get Excited About Travelling Back To 2010 For A ‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ Sequel

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Did you enjoy Hot Tub Time Machine but found yourself plaintively screaming "but then what happened" at the end? MGM has got your back.

hunter s. thompson

Hunter S. Thompson Did Not F*ck Around

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An AP reporter had Hunter S. Thompson's biographer chronicle what Thompson's typical day involved. It was anything but typical.

TARANTINO'S COKE WIZARD

VIDEO: Comedian brings heckler on stage, finds cocaine on him

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Here's a fun little video that's been making the rounds among my stand-up comedian friends: comedian Jake Weisman, performing at the Hell Yes Fest in New Orleans over the weekend, finds himself dealing with your typical drunk jackass who thinks he's helping entertain the audience by interjecting dumb comments in the middle of Weisman's set ups (you'd be amazed at how common it is for drunk people to talk to the the guy on stage as if it's a private conversation between just them two - I mentioned this phenomenon in my <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2011/04/strangely-buff-dave-chappelle-performs-for-sell-out-crowd-in-san-francisco" target="_blank">Dave Chappelle story</a> a while back).

WHISTLEBLOWERS

$450K for Hollywood Cocaine Whistleblower

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This might seem a little inside baseball, but any time a guy in the movie business is nicknamed "Cokey the Clown," I'm covering it.

MARRIED WITH CHILDREN

Here Is A Picture Of Kelly Bundy Holding A Falcon And A Snake

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This picture of Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate) holding a hawk and a snake is amazing on many, many levels.


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