PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

MASCOT MILF’S DAY RECAP

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NBA -- The mother of the San Antonio Coyote was obviously a single mother, as the stress of of raising her flopping spawn has ravaged her with age and disappointment and a bad weave.

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

THE PENNSYLVANIA PARLEY IS ON

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NHL -- You thought with the Pennsylvania primary having passed, you might be rid of any Keystone State related happenings until the next sizable meth lab explosion.

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

TWO DEAD IN GRUESOME ZAMBONI ACCIDENT

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The new Zednik Zamboni didn't go over well.

#MLB

KILL ME NOW

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Bronson Arroyo has stupid hair, gets paid millions of dollars every year to be a mediocre pitcher, and girls scream when he sings songs by The Fray.

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

THEY PLAYED HOCKEY OUTSIDE

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There's not a whole lot I can say about yesterday's Winter Classic between the Penguins and Sabres that isn't better said somewhere else, so I'll just tip my hat to the NHL for for its pretty awesome marketing ploy, to the Pens and Sabes for playing a hell of a game, to Sidney Crosby for being better at hockey than anyone else alive, and to the city of Buffalo for being a crappy place to live in the winter, because all that snow looks great on TV.

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

HOCKEY SANTAS SPREAD CHEER WITH FISTS

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At some point in history, the first 1000 fans dressed as Santa Claus got into a Rangers-Penguins game in Pittsburgh for free.

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

OUTDOOR HOCKEY IS STILL HOCKEY

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In what seems like an extraordinarily bad idea, the <a href="http://www.buffalonews.com/home/story/165230.html" title="Buffalo News" target="_blank">Buffalo Sabres will host the Pittsburgh Penguins</a> in an outdoor game at Ralph Wilson Stadium on January 1st:[Sam] Flood, NBC’s coordinating producer for hockey, already is dreaming of the visuals that could be conjured at the NHL Winter Classic.

#MLB

SO… I GUESS FANTASY BASEBALL IS FREE?

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Let's do the math on this one:Q: John Kruk in a leather vest + Bronson Arroyo on guitar + Peter Gammons looking like <a href="http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/childrenofmenpube.jpg" target="_blank">Michael Caine's character</a> in Children of Men + Billy the Marlin looking at cheerleader ass + KEYTAR.

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS

HMMM… VEGAS OR PITTSBURGH?

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The Penguins' ownership <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07066/767364-61.stm" target="_blank">is looking at Las Vegas</a> as a possible site to move the team.


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