10 Things We Learned From Last Night’s Maddening ‘Sons Of Anarchy’

11.14.12 5 years ago 278 Comments

This is what I’m going to say about last night’s episode: Some very interesting developments have opened up, and in last night’s episode, I can see where the actions are logical, it’s just that the motivations behind them are illogical. So much has happened since the opening episode of the season that, even though what they’re doing now makes sense, I think the characters have gotten away from what it was that brought them to where they are in the first place.

Before we get started, however, an announcement: We’re now officially giving away the sweet UPROXX/Sons of Anarchy T-shirts. If you have unlocked the Ally badge, you can get a T-shirt. To claim it, go to the profile of our generous UPROXX Overlord, Jarret Myer, and send him a message with your mailing address and shirt size (L or XL). One hundred shirts will be given away, and it’s first come, first serve. So, if you want it, get it now. If I ever see one of you out wearing one, I’ll buy you a beer.

1. Do You Want to Earn Your Way Back In, A Pardon? — So, last week’s cliffhanger — will Jax take out Juice? — fizzled quickly after Eli showed up to save Juice’s ass and warn him away. But Juice — having nowhere to go — didn’t leave and instead confronted Jax. Instead of killing Juice, Jax offered him a deal similar to the one he offered Gemma (minus the f**king): Retrieve the legal documents that Clay had the Nomads steal from himself as evidence that Clay was behind the home invasions, and Jax will spare Juice. LEGAL DOCUMENTS? Jesus: Again, I hate to harp on this, but how much proof does Jax need? Damon Pope doesn’t build an airtight case before he f**king shoots someone; he just takes them out. Jax, meanwhile, just flares his damn nostrils.

Also, Juice: Dude. The crying? You’re in a motorcycle gang. Grow a pair. Act like you know, son.

2. Tara Suffering from Suburban Malaise — There was a lot going on with Tara last night, but two things before we get to her major storyline: Who would wake up her baby just so she can hold him — is she really that bored with her life that she needs to torture the damn baby? — and what does it have to do with anything else? And do they really have to bring that job offer back into play? To what end?

I also think the woman that offered the job to Tara is alternate-universe Mayim Bialik.

3. How F**king Dumb Is Tara? — So, Otto had some sort of spiritual conversion after jerking himself off into sobs last week, so he decides to drop the RICO testimony. Just one thing: He needs Luanne’s crucifix. Just to feel it next to him. Of course, the only person on the entire face of the planet who didn’t think he was going to use the crucifix to hurt someone was Tara, who not only got him the crucifix but was dumb enough to leave him alone with it. I initially expected him to kill himself with it, but he instead took out a nurse. NICE JOB, TARA.

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