SNOOKER? I BARELY KNOW HER!
MARTELLUS BENNETT THINKS YOU FARTED

‘THE HILLS’ IS MORE RETARDEDER THAN EVER

By / 04.07.09

Season 5 of “The Hills” — or the second part of Season 4, whatever MTV is calling it, not that it matters — debuted with two episodes last night, and words that fully describe how insulting this show is to viewers have yet to be invented in the English language.

Videogum dedicates the full volume of its hatred to the back-to-back episodes, including the following deconstruction of a staged (but real) fight:

This is genuinely disgusting. I just barfed and my heart fell out. The only reason they’re at that bar in the first place is because MTV worked out a deal with the owners for low-cost filming in exchange for on-screen promotion, AND they agreed to let the producers pretend that Stacie actually works there (fake). It’s basically a soundstage. And then the producers and camera crew sit idly by while their goat-faced nightmare of an EMPLOYEE actually assaults someone (over a text message, never forget). This isn’t National Geographic. We don’t have to let nature run its course. Between this and the Sharon Osbourne vs. Megan Charm School Reunion fight, the MTV corporation has made it clear that their business model supports inciting violence for the sake of ratings. F-ck you, MTV. F-cking horrible. Go to jail forever.

Um, I just choose not to watch.  But yeah, that’s about right.


TAGSMTVSPENCER PRATTTHE HILLS

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