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My New Legal Hero

By / 08.27.10

DANGER ZONE! DG here. Matt’s ducking out early, so I’m driving the ol’ WG bus into the weekend. Don’t worry, I’m a great driver. (*takes sip of peppermint Schnapps, squirts chocolate syrup into mouth, shakes head violently, pounds accelerator into floor, throws empty bottle out window*)

As a law student, I’ve long told people that my legal inspiration is Lionel Hutz of “The Simpsons.”  I could quote him for days… and have… in class.  I’ve learned so many important things about the law from him: how to negotiate, how to handle a difficult jury, how to properly execute a will, and the legal ethics of attorney-dumpster confidentiality.  Well, no more.  He’s been surpassed by Steve Miller.

This commercial pleases me on two important levels.  First of all, it’s hilarious.  He had me at, “If you and your spouse hate each other like poison.”  Everything else (“the illiterate boob at the courthouse,” “getting rid of that vermin you call a spouse,” etc.) is gravy.  I mean, let’s be honest – I wouldn’t let this guy represent me if his services were free and his dad was the judge.  But it is funny.

Second of all, lawyer commercials like this give me hope.  You see, I have to take the bar exam next summer. So when I see that borderline retarded people like Steve Miller (or this guy, or this guy) have become practicing attorneys, it makes me realize it can’t possibly be that hard.  All you have to do is take it seriously, do the work, and not spend all day screwing around on the Internet, looking for clips of Lionel Hutz or stupid lawyer commercials, or sexy pics of Emmanuelle Chriqui for the next po – ummm, uh oh.

Final note: you know that website he talks about in the commercial?  The one he called “a work of art”?  Um, yeah.  The URL of it is www.DivorceDeli.com.  MORE LIKE WORK OF FART, AMIRITE QUESTIONMARKEXCLAMATIONPOINT

via Urlesque


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