I’ll Take Two, Thank You

Get out your confetti and best parade outfit, people. We have a hero on our hands.

A man named Matt Richardson has invented a device he calls The Enough Already Project that, when attached to your television, will mute any and all undesired sound. In other words, you can program it to mute out any mention of stories you’re sick of, or particular voices that send you up a tree. For me, as you may be able to tell from the banner pic, this means I would never have to hear Nancy Grace’s stupid voice again. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Why don’t you just not watch her show? Isn’t that the simplest solution?” Well, it would be, except other idiot shows insist on having her on or talking about her all the time. There is nothing worse than sitting around, minding your own business, and getting sucker punched with a Nancy Grace interview or news segment. Well, NO MORE.

I can’t stress strongly enough how important this invention is. I mean, did you know Kim Kardashian is having TWO wedding receptions? And that her wedding will cost $500,000? And that, despite the family making $65 million last year, they won’t pay a nickel for it? You could filter the WHOLE FAMILY right out of your life. This invention could end up being a more potent cure for high blood pressure than anything the pharmaceutical industry will ever produce.

I’ve posted the video of the inventor explaining the in’s and out’s of the device after the jump, but I’ll warn you, it’s pretty science-y. Like, he’s all “put the flux dingalator onto the whoosy flingabobber and then enter in the A729BANANA magiflocter” and stuff. It took all I had not to shove a stranger into a locker while watching it.