Big Sexy (TLC) — Series premiere. Listen, I hate the old fashion industry lie that women have to be skinny-skinny to be attractive. I thought Demi Lovato looked kinda hot at the VMAs, and people called her fat, which I thought was ridiculous. But the knee-jerk, polar-opposite approach where truly obese people embrace their bodies and think they’re attractive because they have “attitude” or whatever — as they do on this new reality series — is just as much of a lie. Their extra folds of skin are gross, they make airline travel worse than it already is, and they’re destined for health problems like early onset diabetes. So sexy! F**k you, TLC.
Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family) — Summer finale. Apparently the eponymous liars are being stalked and manipulated by someone known only as “A.” I’m a 32-year-old man, please don’t make me learn about this show.
Top Shot (History) — I support any and all episodes of “Top Shot” — or any programs or movies — that use a Gatling gun, as tonight’s episode does.
Quirky (Sundance) — This reality program searches for engineers/entrepreneurs with ideas to make new inventions. Wasn’t this already a show on a network? I seem to remember something similar already failing on TV.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Joe Namath is the first guest on Letterman. It’s always worth seeing him interact with other people because he’s such a stooped, broken old drunk. And yet the man has swagger, I can’t deny that. Elsewhere: jeff Bridges and Snooki on Leno; Will Forte and Amy Sedaris on Fallon; reruns and boring stuff everywhere else.