Cougar Town/Dancing With the Stars (ABC) – ATTENTION MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN WHO PROBABLY DON’T READ THIS BLOG: Watch “Cougar Town” before “Dancing With the Stars” tonight. It is about people who sit around drinking wine and gossiping. You love that! (This entry brought to you by Stereotypes.)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (NBC) – Fallon gets bumped up to the listings proper because he has the President on his show tonight. Don’t like it, other late night shows? Maybe you shouldn’t have thought about that when you were busy not booking the President. Hurts, doesn’t it?
Glee/New Girl (FOX) – Tonight is “Glee’s” Whitney Houston episode. Good to see we’re still exploiting and profiting off her death a full two and a half months later. A+ work, Hollywood.
The L.A. Complex (CW) – Series premiere. From TV Guide: “Hollywood dreamers seek stardom in this dramatic series set at a Los Angeles apartment-style motel.” So … it’s basically “Melrose Place,” yes? OK, cool.
The Biggest Loser/The Voice/Fashion Star (NBC) – You know, NBC turned into VH1 so gradually I didn’t even notice.
Dance Moms: Miami (Lifetime) – Two things: 1) How did “Dance Moms” get a spinoff? 2) I sincerely hope one of the judges (there are judges, right?) is David Caruso in character as Horatio Caine.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Amy Poehler and Wendy Williams on Letterman; John Cusack on Kimmel; Nobody reads these so let’s just say there’s a talking octopus named Ralph on Ferguson; Jack Black on Leno; and Metta World Peace is on Conan, fresh off elbowing James Harden right in the dome.