Buckwild (MTV, 10 p.m.) — Series premiere. Once the cancellation of Jersey Shore was announced back whenever, it was time for the Eye of MTV to look elsewhere in the country for a group of less-than-humble idiots to exploit. It landed in Sissonville, West Virginia, where we’ll follow the exploits of the group of twentysomethings above. Let’s guess who they are, from L-to-R: The Redneck, The Overlooked One, The Good Girl, The Exotic One, The Simple Farmer, The Leader, The Hunk, The Fiery Slut, and The Christian.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 p.m.) — Is “bazinga” the best “so overused and awful, it’s funny” catchphrase? I’ve got it right up there with “shagadelic” and “MY WIFE.” (My wife.) Anyway, Sheldon bazingas some bazingas while simultaneously getting his bazingas in order tonight. Bazinga? Bazinga.
House of Anubis (Nick, 8 p.m.) — No clue what this show’s about, but if you say its title out loud, it sounds House of Nudists…Yeah, well, I want 30 Rock back, too.
Nashville (ABC, 8 p.m.) — ABC is reairing the Nashville pilot, both to get new viewers hooked and to remind those who already saw it that the show isn’t complete garbage.
Elementary (CBS, 10 p.m.) — “The general manager of a luxury hotel is found dead inside an industrial laundry machine.” DON HENLEY WASN’T KIDDING.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Regis Philbin on Letterman; Arnold Schwarzenegger on Leno; and Mayor Michael Bloomberg and T.I. on Fallon.