‘If You’re Going To Be A Cripple, It’s Better To Be A Rich Cripple’: The Collected Wisdom Of Peter Dinklage

By 03.25.13

GAME OF THRONES RETURNS ON SUNDAY. GAME OF THRONES RETURNS ON SUNDAY. GAME OF THRONES RETURNS ON SUNDAY. THRONES SUNDAY GAME OF RETURNS. Ahem. My apologies. I’m really excited for GAME OF THRONES RETURNS ON SUNDAY. *makes sword slashing and dragons shooting fireballs noises* The week of Westeros hype begins tonight, when Peter Dinklage appears on The Daily Show.

The half-man, full-badass plays arguably the show’s finest, or at least most morally complex, character in Tyrion Lannister, best known for the being namesake of Tyrion’s Law, which says that no matter what you search for on Google Image, eventually you’ll find a GIF of Tyrion slapping Joffrey. And the Internet’s a better place for it.

In honor of his Daily Show appearance, we present to you a guide on how to live your life, Dinklage-style. To be read with wine in your belly (though beer works, too).

On how to relax (via):

On giving no f*cks (via):

On being told you can’t swear (via):

On the proper way to ride a motorcycle… (via):

…and a horse (via):

On the value of material goods (via):

On how to respond to being called an “elf” (via):

On what to do with your rage (via):

On making the best of a not-ideal situation (via):

On life itself (via):

On religion (via):

On the importance of remembering who you are as a person (via):

On looking like a boss while walking your dog (via):

On saying your sister sexed your brother, without actually saying it (via):

On how to respond to winning an award (via):

On telling someone off while wearing a Mike Tyson shirt (via):

On the correct way to roll your eyes (via):

On snappy comebacks (via):

On the perfect way to end any and every speech (via):

On roleplaying (via):

On how to behave around children (via):

On the right way to intimidate a male (via):

On being an actor (via):

On misdirection (via):

On what to do with the pricks of the world (via):

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