Olivia Wilde — the well known and respected actress — was reportedly asked by the universally disliked magician David Blaine to hold him underwater for fifteen minutes, the actress revealed on David Letterman tonight.
Sadly… she did not accept this opportunity kill him.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m thrashing, if I’m begging for my life, you have to hold me down,” said Blaine to Olivia. Blaine was over at Wilde’s house to shoot material for him new magic special, which will air (on a channel) (at a time) (nobody cares). Wilde reportedly didn’t do it because she was nervous about being attributed to Blaine’s death. Questions from Blaine’s producers, who wanted to know how long it would take Blaine to get to a hospital, further unnerved the actress. She decided not to partake in the stunt.
Despite pleas from (probably) hundreds of thousands of people (we’re guessing) to have poe-faced douchegician David Blaine forcibly removed from this mortal coil, Wilde chose the more humane approach, thereby letting wank-llusionist Blaine escape again. All that dude ever does is escape things, this time including death at the hands of a beautiful woman. But this is America… we can Kickstarter and #hashtag our way into pretty much anything. If we can get Betty White on SNL we can get David Blaine drowned, can’t we?