Billy on the Street (Fuse, 11:00 p.m.) – I somehow missed this yesterday, probably because I was busy writing multiple posts about Jeopardy, probably because I am 100 years, but here is a clip from tonight’s Billy on the Street in which Billy and Olivia Wilde play a round of “John Mayer Or Pepe Le Pew.” It is (a) really, really funny, and (b) really, really hard, which doesn’t say much for John Mayer seeing as Pepe Le Pew was a skunk who sexually assaulted cats all day long. That’s what that cartoon was about. And people let their children watch it.
Suburgatory/Nashville (ABC, 8:30/10:00 p.m.) – There’s a wedding on one and a cameo from Michelle Obama on the other, and I’m not saying which is which.
Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 9:00 p.m.) – Why hasn’t anyone made a zaaaaaaaaany web short or TV sketch about the SVUs investigating Pepe Le Pew? It’s so obvious. Jesus, it’s like I have to do everything sometimes.
NOVA (PBS, 9:00 p.m.) – “Shark experts in Australia and the U.S. investigate the hunting instincts of the great white shark.” What in the name of LL Cool J would ever make someone want to become a shark expert? You could become an expert on ANYTHING. Hell, there’s a guy who spends all day tasting ice cream using a gold spoon. Dream big.
The Americans (FX, 10:00 p.m.) – “Stan pursues illegals.” Duly noted.
Catfish (MTV, 10:00 p.m.) – Season premiere. Please do not catfish me.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Pharrell is on Kimmel; Mariah Carey and Rick Harrison are on Letterman; Tim Meadows and Megan Boone are on Ferguson; Zac Efron, Guy Fieri, Jadeveon Clowney, and Sarah McLachlan are on Fallon (oh, to be a fly on the wall in that green room); Sarah Jessica Parker, Anna Wintour, and Rich Eisen are on Meyers; Seth Rogen is on Stewart; New Yorker editor David Remnick is on Colbert; and Sharon Osbourne, Paul F. Tompkins, and Emily Heller are on Conan.