I’ll be brief, because there’s no way I can make this exchange any better. Bryan Cranston and Vince Gilligan sat down with Alan Sepinwall from Hitfix for a wide-ranging, in-depth interview about the past, present, and future of Breaking Bad. In the middle of said interview, they took a relatively straightforward question about the ending of the series — which they must have gotten some variation of a few hundred times by now — and proceeded go on a delightful digression about Walter White getting a sex change, and what people do with their penises after the procedure. Seems reasonable. To quote a wise man, periodically bald man, “There’s nothing better than a good penis for a laugh.”
Vince, when did you tell him how the show was going to end?
Bryan Cranston: He didn’t. He told me in script form.
Okay. So what’s your reaction when you got to that point?
Bryan Cranston: Well, I thought I said…
Vince Gilligan: The sex change kind of threw you.
Bryan Cranston: The sex change operation, brilliant, well-couched. There’s no way that anybody could have identified that coming.
Vince Gilligan: There’s meaning in a lot of levels.
She is the one who knocks with knockers.
Bryan Cranston: Yeah, with knockers.
Vince Gilligan: He is the one who has knockers.
Bryan Cranston: And I took my old penis and I stubbed it so I can use it as a blackjack…
We’re going down a bad road.
Vince Gilligan: Do you think there’s anyone who’s done that, by the way? Just kept it?
Bryan Cranston: Kept their penis in a jar?
Vince Gilligan: Or made it into like a Lucite paperweight?
Bryan Cranston: I sure hope so.
Vince Gilligan: Somebody out there must have.
Bryan Cranston: Yeah.
Vince Gilligan: It’s a big world.
Bryan Cranston: What was the question?
If things get a little slow for these two after Breaking Bad ends, they could always hit the road as a comedy duo. They’d be huge in the Catskills.