‘But I Do Not Want To Watch Black Mirror’: A Short One-Act Play

01.27.15 3 years ago 92 Comments

mirror

Two men enter a coffee shop. After ordering their drinks, they sit at a table in the corner. MAN 1 speaks first.

MAN 1: Have you seen Black Mirror?

MAN 2: No.

MAN 1: You should watch Black Mirror.

MAN 2: I’d rather not.

MAN 1: What? Why?!

MAN 2: Because I do not want to watch Black Mirror.

MAN 1: But it’s so good! It’s so good! You have to watch it.

MAN 2: No thank you.

MAN 1: But … why?

MAN 2: Because I will not like it.

MAN 1: What do you mean you won’t like it?

MAN 2: It seems weird and disturbing. I do not like things that are weird and disturbing.

MAN 1: No, but you don’t get it. It’s not, like just weird and disturbing. You have to watch it. It’s this whole dystopian comment on the modern world and society’s increasing reliance on technology. It’s so, so good.

MAN 2: Okay.

MAN 1: So you’ll watch it.

MAN 2: No.

MAN 1: WHY?

MAN 2: Because I do not want to watch a dystopian comment on the modern world and society’s increasing reliance on technology.

MAN 1: [getting very frustrated] But … you … I… well what do you want to watch then?

MAN 2: I want to watch lawyers get held in contempt for courtroom shenanigans. Or well-dressed criminals in speedboats being chased by well-dressed detectives in faster speedboats.

MAN 1: But … that last one is just Miami Vice, isn’t it?

MAN 2: Basically, yes.

MAN 1: You mean to tell me you’d rather watch reruns of Miami Vice than a brand new, critically-acclaimed series like Black Mirror?

MAN 2: Yes.

MAN 1: WHY?

MAN 2: Because I would rather not devote hours of my free time to being creeped out by a paranoid take on society and how our current path could lead to an unsettling future. The real world is messed up and anxiety-inducing enough. I do not need television to supplement that for me in my free time. That’s just me, though. Also, I like Miami Vice.

MAN 1: BUT IT’S SO GOOD.

MAN 2: I’m very sure it is.

MAN 1: SO WATCH IT.

MAN 2: No. I will pass. I’m glad you enjoy it, though.

MAN 1: I … I just … but you’re missing it.

MAN 2: That is okay.

MAN 1: But… but…

MAN 1 sighs and shakes his head, flabbergasted. They continue drinking their coffee, changing the topic of discussion to the state of the local sports teams. MAN 1 will never look at MAN 2 the same way again.

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