I just love that Jimmy Fallon. He’s such a handsome young man, and he can play the guitar to boot! He can get kind of colorful from time to time, but he’s far better than the John Lenos and Brian Conans and the what have you.
Oh! I almost forgot! My daughter said she sent me an “e-mail” this morning. Let me see if I can “log on”!
[types “log on computer” into miscellaneous search bar on some site somewhere]
[spends several minutes poring through dozens of completely irrelevant results]
Look at that! The young woman found out the truth about acai berry. Isn’t that some kind of hoax? I’d better bookmark it.
[clicks “Bookmarks” drop-down menu several times]
That ought to do the trick…oh! There’s a bookmark to my “e-mail” website. Here we go. Hmm.
This is incredible you guys. Every night next week, while LNwJF is playing on your TV, Jimmy will also be watching along in his office – streaming live! We are partnering with Ustream.tv to bring you a totally interactive fun party time. You’ll be able to chat with Jimmy while he comments on the show as it airs.
[picks up phone]
Sweetie? I got your e-mail message about Jimmy Fallon. I have a question. What is UStream?
[eleven minutes later]
I… think I understand what you’re talking about. This old mother hen can be taught new tricks, I guess! Bye, honey!
Hello? Comcast? I would like to install the Ustream on my television. Because I’m afraid that if I don’t, I won’t be able to watch the Jimmy Fallon.
[three minutes later]
Well there’s no need to get snippy.
Is this the Radio Shack in the mall, or the one out in Hilldale? …Okay. Can you help me install the Ustream on my television?
…The UStream is the thing I need to watch Jimmy Fallon on the television.
…Well, that’s why I called you. I’m not exactly the boss at a computer making factory.
…I’m afraid not. We’re divorced.
Sweetie? I just got off the phone with the Radio Shack. They seemed kind of confused. They told me they didn’t know why I’d want to do that.
…They say I need some sort of… I wrote it down. Part number 25-183. They said a lot of computer mumbo-jumbo. I need what they called a “signal converter.” They said everything I need could cost about a hundred dollars? Doesn’t that seem silly?
…I’m sorry, sweetie, I don’t mean to bother you so much, it’s just that I wanted to watch the Jimmy Fallon and I couldn’t figure out–
…goodbye. Love you, sweetie.
[sits near living room window, stares for a while]
[absently fiddles with wedding ring]