Amy Schumer has made jokes in the past that she resembles a Cabbage Patch Doll (I couldn’t find a link to support this, so you’ll just have to trust me), so this fake commercial for an Amy Schumer Doll on last night’s Inside Amy Schumer was probably inevitable. The Amy Schumer Doll comes equipped with a variety of accessories, including a purse filled with birth control and “dusty candy corn,” cranberry juice to manage her UTI, and skinny jeans to keep in the closet “for someday!”
“Uh oh, no wrappers on the floor. Time for Plan B!” I didn’t play with dolls growing up, but that’s because I didn’t have an Amy Schumer Doll. She seems like the best friend a girl could have.