NERD BONER: DEMETRI IN ‘IMPORTANT THINGS’

02.10.09 8 years ago

“Important Things,” the new vehicle for Demetri Martin’s literal-minimalist brand of humor, debuts tomorrow night on Comedy Central, and needless to say I have a throbbing nerd boner in anticipation.  New York Magazine has a cover feature on Martin this week, and it has a decent assortment of his one-liners and what we can expect from the show.  Some selections:

“A drunk driver is very dangerous, but so is a drunk backseat driver, if he’s persuasive.”

“I was walking down the street and this guy waved at me. Then he said, ‘I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else. And I said, ‘I am.’ ”

“If I ever see an amputee being hanged, I think I’ll just start shouting out letters.”

“ ‘Sort of’ is just conversational filler, but after certain phrases, it can mean everything. Like, ‘I love you.’ Or, ‘You’re going to live.’ ”

“Drummers are cool. Until you put them in a circle.”

But I think my favorite might be this description for one of the sketches:

One highlight: a sketch, not starring Martin, titled “This Is an S&M Couple Whose Safe Word Is ‘Bill Pullman,’ ” which ends with a man in leather being hit with a cricket bat and yelling, “It’s that guy! You know! The actor! What’s his name!”

So, so true.  It’s why I only pick safe words that are states.  They’re just so much easier to remember.  Like, uh, the square one.  You know, with the mountains.  Dammit, I drove through it last year!  No, wait!  Stop!  It’s square, SQUARE DAMMIT!  Put that turkey baster down!!!

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