Prepare to Defend or Get Mad at Zooey Deschanel When She Hosts ‘SNL.’ Plus, C-Tates.

There are few pop culture figures more polarizing than Zooey Deschanel. Some call her overly quirky, obnoxiously precious, and annoying as sh*t. Others, like myself, then mention that Zooey’s got impressive comedic timing, range (singer/actor, and pretty good at both), and she’s adorable as sh*t. People have strong opinions about her either way, even if it’s as simply stated as Zooey > Emily.

In other words, she’s a perfect “SNL” host, which is what she’ll be doing on February 11. (Sadly, Death Cab for Cutie, featuring her sappy schmuck of an ex-husband, Ben Gibbard, will NOT be the musical guest; that honor goes to “acoustic hip-hop duo” Karmin. Why yes, they are white. How did you know?) Those who hate Zooey will want to see her crash and burn, while those who love her will continue to love her even after the inevitable Valentine’s Day skit featuring the ukulele.

“SNL” also announced the host for their February 4 episode: 21 Magic Jump the Streets: 2 star Channing Tatum (with Bon Iver). I love him, you love him, and Film Drunk REALLY loves him. (They’ve got 15 PAGES of C-Tates over there, dating back to 2007.) You know the first line of Iggy and the Stooges’ “Search and Destroy”: “I’m a street walkin’ cheetah with a heart full of napalm.” Replace “street walking” with “step upping,” “cheetah” with “C-Tates,” and “heart full of napalm” with “THIS IS DA ILLEST JAM, $ON” – you’ve got his life story.