“Make It or Break It” is a new show about gymnastics on ABC Family this summer, and I’ve done my best to ignore it until now — I’m certainly not the intended audience. But this scene from an episode last month has to be addressed. In the video above, a group of five guys (one of whom has a neck tattoo) are threatening some high school girls at a gas station, and two girls scare them off BY TUMBLING AT THEM. Seriously. “Watch out, yo! Those are back handsprings!”
Again: I recognize that this show is for little girls, not me. But I have to believe that not even little girls are dumb enough to find this remotely believable. This absolutely has to be the stupidest thing televised this decade. Its idiocy depletes my faith in humanity. It’s an insult to people with frontal lobes. Those girls could have fired lasers out of their vaginas and it would have been more realistic. Hey, the female reproductive system is awfully complex. Vagina lasers don’t seem all that implausible. And they’re certainly scarier than a tumbling pass.