These Morning Links Could Improve Your Life

This video has been around for years, but it’s just as fascinating as the day it was uploaded. If you can explain to me what is going on here, I will give you a million dollars. It is all of the money that I have in the world.

Disney turns boring children into terrible adults. Danger Guerrero wrote this. It’s a grand read, but I’d like to take this space to mention that Danger Guerrero is a dumb 5-year-old idiot baby. If you asked him what one plus one is, he’d go like, “durrr.” (That is my impression of Danger Guerrero.) [Uproxx]

Because nobody would pay to see The Credible Hulk. Ed Norton is officially not going to play The Incredible Hulk in the upcoming Avengers movie. [UGO]

Jeff Gordon is handsome, and he’s a great champion. He’s the world’s fastest Christian! The first six seasons of King of the Hill are currently on Amazon for under $10 apiece. You can also buy them together for $225. Thanks, [Amazon]!

Jimmy Jump, everybody! An enterprising young man who calls himself Jimmy Jump donned a shirt that read, “Jimmy Jump Against Racism,” then ran onto the pitch in Johannesburg and attempted to place a hat on the World Cup trophy. “Jimmy Jump” sounds like advice from an auto mechanic who wants you to electrocute yourself. [SB Nation]

Gratuitous semi-self promotion. Last night, Vincente Padilla came close-ish to a no-hitter, and it reminded me of this Dugout Brandon wrote in the long long ago. Still makes me laugh my b*tt off. [The Dugout]

Danger Guerrero sucks. Look it up! [Googlecom]

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