Before we get started with this recap of the seventh episode, “In the Evening,” of the sixth season of True Blood, I just can’t ignore the fact that Fox News anchor Shep Smith showed his “true” colors (GET IT???) earlier this week, when he brought up his favorite vampire soap opera when discussing the birth of the Royal Baby. In particular, Smith discussed how more names might mean a royal baby is more important, hence George Alexander Louis Snoop Lion Harlem Shake Cromartie, and that can be compared to the names of Andy Bellefleur’s four daughters. You know, before Jessica slaughtered three of them.
More specifically, the surviving daughter could be considered the most important because, well, she’s alive, and she also has multiple names – Adilyn Braelyn Charlaine Danika Bellefleur, to be precise – that represent her slain sisters. At least that’s what I think Smith meant, because I didn’t really understand him or Andy’s naming process.Subscribe to UPROXX
Cable news, folks. Journalism is alive and well. Now, let’s talk about the episode that made me yawn a lot.
True or False: Alcide’s whole Season 6 story might have just gotten interesting.
Okay, to recap: Alcide spent the last six episodes chasing after Sam and Nicole, because they had Emma and the pack didn’t want to let the pup get away. However, once Alcide finally caught Sam and Nicole, he let them go – based on the promise that they both never return to Bon Temps – and still gave Emma to Martha, so she could take her away from the pack. It seemed almost entirely pointless, made Alcide seem like a big, ol’ dick (no Magic Mike pun intended) and felt like a waste of time.
Now we know that Alcide lied to the pack about killing Sam and Nicole, and Rikki knows he lied, because she went ahead and kidnapped Nicole and her mom. Suddenly, Sam returning to Bon Temps for Terry’s funeral seems rather convenient.
True or False: Arlene is f*cking waaaaaaaaaaasted.
Arlene’s reaction to Bill walking in daylight is one of my favorite meaningless moments of Season 6. If she becomes a massive drunk in the wake of Terry’s (self-imposed) murder, I wouldn’t have a problem with that.
True or False: Arlene is going to be a very wealthy massive drunk.
It’s nice to see that something positive came out of Terry’s demise, other than his funeral simply being a forum for Bill to find Sookie and make up with Andy in one convenient trip.