Mad Men (AMC, Sunday) – Season four finale, advertised by AMC with the cryptic words, “Opportunity arises for Don and Peggy.” Continuing that sentence in my brain with “when they take a chance on the door-to-door sales of a Chip and Dip.” Watch, or your friends will hate you!
Baseball Guys (TBS) – The American League Championship Series begins tonight with the Yankees vs. Rangers, and tomorrow night the Giants are brutally raped by the Phillies in a National League Championship Series directed by Gaspar Noé.
Monsters Inside Me (Animal Planet, Friday) – What better way to get in the holiday spirit than by watching repeats of shows about people getting bugs and animals stuck inside of themselves? This is also the name of my awesome Creature from the Black Lagoon porno.
Eastbound & Down (HBO, Sunday) – Kenny learns the dangers of showboating, puts on a bloody sock even though his foot isn’t still bleeding, wins the World Series, gets his own special Everquest character and births a kid with Asperger’s. I’m sorry, I got my boastful jack-off pitchers confused.
Boardwalk Empire (HBO, Sunday) – Baltimore street hood Omar Little takes his time machine from the 1920s to the 1490s to teach Christopher Columbus a valuable lesson about the meaning of the term “injun.” This show is good and you are already going to watch it.