Over the weekend, Christina Aguleria sang at the funeral for R&B singer Etta James in Los Angeles, an event that was later aired on CNN. The co-host of NBC’s “The Voice” performed James’s most memorable song, “At Last,” and she sounded the way she always does: like a malfunctioning diva whose undeniable talent was overshadowed by her desire to over-emote every note. She’s a parody of a soul singer, a “Glee” character.
But her wailing is beside the point…WHAT WAS DRIPPING DOWN HER LEG? In the picture above, you’ll see something brown or red leaking down her right leg, and the Internet has decided it was one of two things: spray tan or period blood. It’s possible for a woman to sing so hard that she could have a “tampon malfunction,” according to my source (an anonymous “woman” on a message board), but it’s just as likely that her equally-disgusting liquid tan could have oozed down. Either way: it’s NBC’s fault, probably.
This is IMPORTANT news, so important, in fact, that “Trickle Down” should no longer be a term associated with economics and Ronnie Reagan. From now on, it will be used only to discuss Christina Aguleria’s fake tan or menstruation cycle. I think it’s Aunt Flo, because “Moves like Jagger,” the Maroon 5 song which she sings on, is like the period blood stain on the proverbial white sofa that is pop music. Trend! Judge for yourself below.
Also, who the fu*k takes out their cell phone during a funeral?