10 Things I Hate About You (ABC Family) — This is a serialized reinterpretation of the 1999 movie starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, and Joseph Gordon-Leavitt (not all that bad, despite this scene), which in turn was a reinterpretation of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, which was also made into a musical called Kiss Me, Kate, which then had a film adaptation of the same name (minus the comma). Ugh. Even though this is supposedly a timely update, it’s on ABC Family so I’m giving it two big middle fingers up.
The Great American Road Trip (NBC) — Families in RVs head west across Route 66 and compete in challenges while seeing all the landmarks along the way. I wonder if they’ll hit up the methamphetamine labs in the California desert. Ever been to Victorville? Amboy? Nothing there but death, meth, and Manson fans.
Warehouse 13 (Syfy) — Two federal agents, sexual tension, and paranormal activity. Apparently “Warehouse 13” is where the government keeps the X-Files. Watch the trailer here.
NYC Prep (Bravo) — It’s still on. It’s still awful.
Heroes Among Us: The 2009 Hero Awards (MyNetworks) — Dean Cain hosts the annual award show honoring “people who make the world a better place.” Kathy Ireland will get an award tonight — I assume for heroically being the driving force behind me first learning to masturbate.
Bite Me with Dr. Mike (Travel) — Surprisingly, this isn’t about vampires: a virologist looks at harmful creature (this episode: Vietnam). The vampire series you’re looking for is called “Suck It with Retarded Teens.”