Mel Brooks Strikes Back! (HBO, 9 p.m.) — An hour-long chat between Mel Brooks and BBC creative director Alan Yentob begs the following question: what’s Brooks’s best movie? I know Burnsy would pick Spaceballs, but, consider me old fashioned, I’m still Blazing Saddles all the way. “They hit, Buddy. COME ON GIRLS.”
American Country Awards (Fox, 8 p.m.) — It bugs me that the word “music” doesn’t come between “country” and “awards,” as if the name of the ceremony was thought up by the owner of U.S.A Fun Time Rock ‘n’ Roll America Restaurant in Japan. Anyway, Kristin Chenoweth hosts, which, aw, Pushing Daisies.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) — “Robin is suspicious of Barney’s relationship with Patrice.” STOP MAKING ROBIN SUSPICIOUS, PATRICE.
Monday Night Football (ESPN, 8:30 p.m) — Texans and Patriots. Head over to KSK for tasteful potshots about Tom Brady’s dumb face.
Take It All (NBC, 9 p.m.) — Another Howie Mandel game show? Another Howie Mandel game show.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Anne Hathaway, Jake Johnson, Johnny Manziel, and the U.S. Marine Corps Band on Letterman; Matt Damon and Chris Pratt on Leno; Ted Danson and Emilia Clarke on Kimmel; Kristen Stewart on Ferguson; Laura Linney, Dave Attell, and Solange on Fallon; Seth MacFarlane, Retta, and Jack White on Conan; Bishop Gene Robinson on Stewart; and Diana Krall and Elvis Costello on Colbert.