Sleepy Hollow (Fox, 9 p.m.) — Sleepy Hollow is the current leader in the Show With the Highest Number of Episodes On Josh’s DVR That He’ll Eventually Get Around To, Maybe On a Lazy Saturday Afternoon When It’s Just a Little to Cold to Go For the Run He’s Been Meaning To, Even Though He Knows He Should contest. Congrats!
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) — Marshall and Ted get into an argument over thank-you notes. The current unwritten rule for thank-you notes is that they must go out within three months after the wedding. Good call. If you wait six months, then you’ll have forgotten whether you received the toaster that you immediately pawned from Aunt Marie or Aunt Mary.
Monday Night Football (ESPN, 8:25 p.m.) — San Diego Chargers vs. Indianapolis Colts. I need Coby Fleener to score negative-30 points for my team to win in fantasy. I like those odds.
Mom (CBS, 9:30 p.m.) — Tonight’s episode is called “Loathing and Tube Socks.” Yup, replied every teen boy ever.
The E! True Hollywood Story: Paula Deen (E!, 10 p.m.) — NOPE.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Ray Romano and James Franco on Leno; Woody Harrelson and Ke$ha on Kimmel; Malin Akerman on Ferguson; and Steven Yeun and Eric Andre on Conan.