The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8 p.m.) — Season premiere. Contestants include former professional tennis player Zina Garrison and ex-Detroit Lions quarterback Scott Mitchell, who ate the Silverdome.
Thursday Night Football (CBS, 8 p.m.) — It’s the Steelers vs. Ravens, so I can’t wait to see how Jim Nantz and Phil Simms bring up Ray AND THE PUNT IS BLOCKED.
Dating Naked (VH1, 9 p.m.) — “An ex-Marine and a British dance instructor go on dates while nude.”
The Secret Lives of Pets (NBC, 10 p.m.) — It’s best not to know.
You’re the Worst (FX, 10:30 p.m.) — I’ve had the You’re the Worst theme song in my head for a week. It’s by a band called Slothrust. I don’t know if that’s Sloth-Rust or Slo-Thrust.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Jason Bateman, Billy Eichner, and Ryan Adams on Letterman; Jessica Chastain, Jeffrey Tambor, and Chris Brown on Fallon; Morgan Freeman, Julianne Hough, and Ingrid Michaelson on Kimmel; Ben Mezrich on Ferguson; Josh Charles on Meyers; Kunal Nayyar, Ben Schwartz, and Garfunkel & Oates on Conan; Tavis Smiley on Stewart; and Lonn Taylor on Colbert.