Two Long Island Politicians Are Going To War Over Who Loves Billy Joel More

It’s fair to assume that we’re all just a bit burnt out from the unyielding howl of partisan rancor coming from all sides during this atrocityfest of an election. Because of this, we all need to take some time everyday to decompress. No all-day campouts in front of your computer playing “Risotto Recipe or Collusion?!” with the drip drop Wikileaks rollout, no staring at Donald Trump’s twitter feed to see if you can make your forehead vein dance. But sometimes an issue pulls you away from your place of bliss and demands your attention. And sometimes that issue is a fight to demonstrate an acceptable amount of love and respect for future Nobel prize winning lyricist and singer, Billy Joel. As if there was such a thing. As if anything could be enough to thank the Piano Man for “Scenes From An Italian Restaurant” and the “Sometimes A Fantasy” video. Dean Hart knows what I’m talking about. Turnstiles! That’s what I’m talking about.

Hart is a democrat running for a New York State Assembly seat on Long Island, Billy Joel’s native land and muse. As a small gesture of his undying appreciation, Hart wants to erect a statue of Joel in front of The Nassau Coliseum. It will cost $1 million in taxpayer dollars because, I assume, trucking in chromium steel from Allentown doesn’t come cheap.

So, local politician makes good by offering a small token of respect to the man who gave us “Downeaster Alexa” and the story of Navy Davey? All hearts are warmed. Politics isn’t a throbbing tumor. Go back to your leisure activities.

But no. Wait! There is a villain. Kinda.

Hart’s republican opponent, Michael Montesano, hasn’t been able to get a road named after Joel in Oyster Bay and Hart is using the Billy Joel statue initiative as a trojan horse for an attack on his opponent where he calls him “impotent.” Because, unlike Viktor the clown in “Leningrad,” Hart can’t drown the hate. What’s Montesano’s excuse? Apparently, Hart’s fellow democrats have been sitting on the bill calling for the creation of Billy Joel Boulevard on Route 107.

How this all gets resolved is an open question, but it’s pretty clear that there is a lot of motivation on Long Island to celebrate Billy Joel and almost no chance that everyone is just going to throw their hands up in the air and immortalize Blue Oyster Cult instead.

By the way, if the assembly is taking pitches, I humbly suggest that a 1:1 scale recreation of the courtroom scene from the “Keeping The Faith” video just feels… right, ya know?

Source: The Huffington Post