The greatest current basketball player from New Hampshire, red-headed reserve Spurs forward Matt Bonner is no stranger to the absurd. We’re talking the full-on Camus existential kind. Have you SEEN his baby carrots commercial? He should have won a Clio.
Now that we’ve explained what makes Bonner so amazing, his shooting last season for the Spurs wasn’t. Bonner has shot better than 40 percent from behind the arc (41.4) for his career. Except last season he shot 36.5 percent, the second-lowest percentage in his 11-year career. He was particularly bad between December and February’s all-star break, when he only connected on 32.4 percent from deep (25-for-77). He shot 42.8 percent to bookend those dreadful months. So how to explain the dip?
According to what Bonner told the Concord Monitor, it stemmed for a particularly arduous case of tennis elbow, brought on by the new, bigger iPhone.
“You’re about to get an exclusive here,” Bonner said. “I hate to make excuses, I was raised to never make excuses, but I went through a two-and-a-half month stretch where I had really bad tennis elbow, and during that stretch it made it so painful for me to shoot I’d almost be cringing before I even caught the ball like, ‘Oh, this is going to kill.’ ”
“I really don’t want to say that’s why my percentage dipped, but I’m not too worried about it,” Bonner said. “I know I can still shoot.”
“Everybody is going to find this hilarious, but here’s my theory on how I got it,” he said. “When the new iPhone came out it was way bigger than the last one, and I think because I got that new phone it was a strain to use it, you have to stretch further to hit the buttons, and I honestly think that’s how I ended up developing it.”
If it were anyone but Bonner, we’d chalk this up as a really fun joke. But we think he’s serious. Be careful out there iPhone users, the heftier iteration of the iPhone can be dangerous.
(Via Concord Monitor; Express-News)