FilmDrunk

Comments of the Week

Well, it’s that time of the week again, the time when I celebrate you, the frequently-funnier-than-me FilmDrunk comments section. As always, use the comments section of this post below to nominate for next week (via simple copy and pasting). This week’s winner gets a spankin’ new, two-color FilmDrunk shirt (design by Marc at Encompus) — now available in Kelly Green AND red! You can buy one here. I actually found a cheaper way to mail them, so I lowered the shipping costs. OWNING A FILMDRUNK SHIRT IS NOW CHEAPER THAN EVER! YOU’D HAVE TO BE A RETARDED EUNUCH NOT TO BUY ONE!

And now for your winner. If we were counting cumulatively, Chino Moreno would no doubt have locked up her millionth CotW prize, but for best single comment, I had to give the nod to The Jersey Devil in Clint Eastwood Befriends a Squirrel Named Lola.

The Jersey Devil says:
Clint: *aims rifle* GET OFF MY LAWN !!
Lola: Squeak! Squeak, squeak!
Clint: No, not you, Lola, I’m talkin’ to that fat-ass gook bitch over there.
Kim Kardashian: Are you talking to me, creepy old guy? Do I know you?
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Clint: Here, Lola, have another peanut.

I’m a sucker for the absurd, and that was pretty high level. In fact, I’d pay to see that stretched into a full-length piece of Clint Eastwood-in-Gran-Torino/squirrel fan fiction. But it’s true, I always say that.

Here are your honorable mentions:

[Same post]:

Mel Gibsons Beaver Puppet says: HEY, SUGARNUTS!!!!!! YOUR TAIL LOOKS STUPID!!!!! MY OLD RACIST WILL BURY YOUR OLD RACIST IN THE ROSE GARDEN!!!!!!

From Naked Man Flashes Audience During Alvin and the Chipmunks:

Chino Moreno: Maybe he just got confused and thought it was a Chip ‘n Dale movie.

Word play!

Naturally, the The Red Tails trailer (the one with dub-step) inspired the usual, borderline-racist chucklejerk:

Jacktion says: This movie is obviously about a squadron of Soul Planes.

ChinoMoreno says: The biplanes fly on the down-low.

Jacktion says: It’s nice to see a movie about black guys dogfighting without any references to Michael Vick.

ChinoMoreno says: They’re the best pilots because they never go down.

elle07 says: Ugh, it’s just…if it’s a period piece the music should be something more along the line of The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy From Company B. I’m sorry, I meant The Boogie Woogie Bugle MAN From Company B. Some of my best friends are World War 2 flying aces.

Erswi says: NI99AZ WIT ALTITUDE

Good Grief says: George Lucas? Dubstep? Pilots? Do they fly Skrillex Wings?

Stinky Pete says: Needs less dubstep and more Mötorhead.

I think that last one… was a reference to “Ace of Spades.” Which is an unbelievable stretch for a joke about old-timey racism.

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