I know you’ve all been on pins and needles waiting for my year end, best of list, and you’re probably wondering why I’ve waited until the middle of January to post it. Simple: there were some movies I had to catch up on before I made my picks, and it just so happens that the season that sees the release of The Legend of Hercules and I, Frankenstein is the perfect time to catch up on older movies.
Now, a lot of critics will tell you that a work of art can’t be quantified, and that trying to squeeze as complex a thing as a film and the spectrum of reactions it produces over the course its running time into some binary rubric of “thumbs up, thumbs down,” or to award arbitrary “points” to a subjectively interpretable medium is not only impossible and wrong, but it crushes the soul of the thing being evaluated. BUT HEY, SCREW THOSE HIPPIES, IT’S TIME TO MATH FIGHT! All of my choices outlined below have been decided by a proprietary algorithm developed by me and my mechanical wolverine, Tom-Tom. This means that they are mathematically infallible, and if you disagree with any them you are wrong and we must sword fight.
KNIVES OUT, PANSIES, IT’S TIME TO QUANTIFY INTANGIBLES!
10. Iron Man 3/Short Term 12
I know, I know, my first entry and I’m already cheating. Don’t worry, this list gets better further along as we get to the ones I like the most. But combining my most populist and most film criticky impulses into a single entry just felt right.