Before you freak out, here’s what you need to know: Your Coke is fine. So if you’re drinking one now, you don’t need to stop. Unfortunately, there is some bad news. So much human excrement found its way into a Hellenic Bottling Company factory in Lisburn, Ireland, that machines became clogged, tipping off workers that something was seriously wrong.
How did the feces get into the machines? No one knows yet. Thankfully, the Food Standards Agency, a crucial government department which ensures the public health, was able to inspect the tainted machines and Coca-Cola products. Inspectors concluded that no contaminated product had hit store shelves, allowing all of us to breathe a sigh of relief.
The police are investigating where the fecal matter came from and how it made its way into the machines. A Police Service of Northern Ireland spokesman said, “The investigation is at an early stage and there are no further details available at this time.”
Coca-Cola quickly made a statement to the Belfast Telegraph (h/t The Guardian):
“The problem was identified immediately through our robust quality procedures and all of the product from the affected production was immediately impounded and will not be sold. This is an isolated incident and does not affect any products currently on sale.
The incident is subject to an investigation by the PSNI and the environmental health unit of Lisburn and Castlereagh city council.”
Whoever is responsible for this mess is still at large, but thank god this was handled before anyone had to give up their mid-afternoon can of Coke.