Country Time Is Serving Up ‘Legal Ade’ To Save Lemonade Stands

06.08.18 1 week ago

Nothing bothers us more than driving down the safe and beautiful streets of Anytown U.S.A. and coming across the sick capitalist pigs who are trying to tear down our society. Our opportunistic enemies set-up shop ignoring health risks, safety concerns, and zoning rights! All for the cruel mistress that is cold hard cash.

Well, we say no more, The good ol’ United States of America always orders its priorities from most pressing to least significant — which is why children with lemonade stands MUST BE STOPPED. Apparently.

Fox News

After witnessing America’s war on lemonade, Country Time has set out to help these kids. All across the country children face fines and tear-down orders from their local governments for opening lemonade stands. It doesn’t matter if your cause is charity, cancer, or just raising money for a trip to the water park — it is summer after all – if you plan to sell lemonade, you’d better be packing all the necessary permits or else be prepared to pay some serious fines.

Tidal

That is where Legal Ade comes in. Country Time has taken it upon themselves to back-up their most profitable demographic by offering reimbursement for any child facing fines for running a lemonade stand. All it takes is an image of your child’s permit or fine, along with some words about what the lemonade stand means to your child, to be reviewed by a member of the Legal Ade’s team. If Legal Ade finds that you have a case they will offer to fully cover the permit or fine, up to $300.00!

Sure this is all pretty f*cking ridiculous, but Country Time is using this opportunity to be humorous as well as compassionate and we’re down with that.

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