One of the only good things about working in an office, besides Free Tacos Tuesday, Donut Party Wednesday, and Flapjack Friday, is the annual holiday party. It’s a festive time to check-in with the co-workers you haven’t spoken to all year, drink on the company’s dime, and invite a hooker as your date.
At least that’s what happened to a “nerdy guy” who a Redditor’s husband works with. Actually: worked with. “My husband is a software engineer who works with a bunch of nerdy guys,” Hysterymystery wrote. “One of them decided it would be a good idea to bring a gun and a hooker to the office christmas party. Security escorted him in to clean out his desk the next day.”
It’s one of the many very entertaining (and highly inappropriate) responses in the Ask Reddit thread, “What is the most NSFW thing you have seen at an office gathering or party?” It’s a real-life Office Christmas Party.
Work party. one guy took a sh*t in the toilet followed by grabbing the vacuum cleaner and sucking it all up. (Via)
GM (guy) and controller (girl) were grinding on the dance floor. GM’s wife confronts them on the dance floor in front of everyone, “Is this the whore you’ve been f*cking?” Needle off the record moment. The controller’s husband had been suspicious for a while and considered this confirmation. Both couples divorced shortly after. GM and controller are now married. (Via)
First Christmas party at a tech startup. Go to the bathroom towards the end of the night. Realize mid-piss that the sounds coming from the stall next mine are the CTO and his wife going at it. Step out of the stall and the CEO and some sales guys are doing lines. CEO sees me and shouts, “hey, it’s Jared!!” My name isn’t Jared.
He called me Jared for about 6mos after that until I pulled him aside and corrected him one day. (Via)
Our company Christmas party had a tequila ice luge. One of our class A drivers got so wasted he was doing flips on the dance floor and juggling corona bottles, then he went and sat on a 19 year old girls lap and her mom went ballistic. He was kicked out and proceeded to drive himself home. What a guy. (Via)
We had a “Mardi Gras” themed holiday party. One guy decided to bring his saxophone and be a “jazz man.” Normal enough, right? Well, he also thought that to be a jazz man, he needed to show up in blackface. (Via)
Used to work for a big bank. We had a little potluck for Christmas, and long story short about 2 hours later, someone sh*t in the bathroom and smeared it literally, and I mean literally, all over the bathroom stalls. The wall, the stall door handle, the toilet sensor; f*cking everywhere. It looked like a XXL Hershey bar stepped on an IED. We never did quite catch the elusive poop handle bandit. Legend says he’s still out there, ravaging the latrines of financial institutions to this day. (Via)
That’s why I work at home. There are many more here.