If you’ve been sitting around thinking that this fall, you will not resort to all those basic b*tch vices like Instagram pictures of your boots, Instagram pictures of leaves, or pumpkin spice lattes, then I’m about to smack that denial right off of your M.A.C.-slathered face.
Someone has figured out a way to deep-fry the pumpkin spice latte, the official cool weather nectar of the basic. That’s right, babies — it’s been turned into not just a solid, not just a carb, but a solid, crunchy, deep-fried carb that you will never, despite your best efforts, be able to even. Not even a little bit. In fact, before you read the end of this sentence, you’re going to be dead. You’re dead. You literally died.
Courtesy of Bustle — by way of Cosmopolitan — the deep-fried pumpkin spice latte has been made possible with the help of pound cake and a deep fryer. (I wasn’t going to keep you in suspense because you’d just get distracted and start checking your phone for something pedestrian that you mistake for something exciting.)
So start getting the Facebook invites ready for your basic funeral featuring the music of Taylor Swift (a great songwriter), the endorsement of the Kardashian-Jenner-Wests and the finest North Face fleece vests and riding boots that ever graced your precious mainstream flesh. Because you are literally dead. And I am stealing your boyfriend.