McDonald’s Embraces Our Dystopian Future With Bleak New Uniforms

Life & Culture Editor
04.21.17 11 Comments


In a clear reaction to the future liberals want, McDonald’s has picked up the sewing needle and thrown down the gauntlet. “In 2017,” the chain’s new uniform seems to bleat, as if through a tinny PA system, “everyone will bow down to the clown or face expulsion to the colonies. Now, please move forward and collect your Big Macs in an orderly fashion.”

Seriously, if you’re a college kid and want to shoot a dystopian movie, you can probably film on the sly at your local McD’s. Check these out:

“Join us. It is the only choice.”

There are two reasons that these garments — is there any other word for them — seem so problematic: One, they fly in the face of the fun and familial atmosphere that the company’s “I’m Lovin’ It” tagline has worked so hard to push; two, as noted on Paleo Future, the designer outfits, which were created by Waraire Boswell and Bindu Riva, make it look like McDonald’s has totally bought into the reality that America will soon be made up of 12 districts (13 is gone; 13 never existed) surrounding the capitol and that all people will quickly become expendable.

Why bother pretending that the workers are anything but machines, the outfits seems to say, and gray and black are so easy to clean. They cover the blood stains so well.

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