Living with mental illness is one of the hardest things in the world. Not only do you often feel like you’re alone (especially when you’re so depressed you can’t get out of bed), but the way others perceive you doesn’t match up with how you see yourself. That’s why Cierra Fortner, a Missouri mother of two and a woman struggling with depression, anxiety, and a personality disorder took to Facebook to share her struggles in a post that’s now gone viral.
According to Fortner, the impetus of her post was a visit to a local Walmart. There, an employee commended her on how well-behaved and well-dressed her two small children were. “You just seem to have it all together,” the worker told Fortner and while she was grateful for the compliment, she also felt the need to address the truth, so she wrote a Facebook post letting the woman who complimented her at Walmart in on things Fortner wishes she could tell her.
From her Facebook post:
I want her to know I battle a personality disorder everyday with anxiety and depression mixed and I’m a two times suicide survivor.
I want her to know that I can’t always get myself up off the couch to feed them anything more than frozen pizza and cereal.
I want her to know that my son is late for school 3 out of 4 days because I regularly forget what day and time it is, despite the toddler size calendar in my kitchen.
I want her to know I have those “I’m losing my shit” moments when I have to lock myself in the bathroom and cry.
I want her to know I wasn’t always the most active mom because I use to work 80 hours a week and go to school full time and Jayce spent many days and nights with his grandparents.
I want her to know that I hadn’t washed my hair in 3 days and my kids hadn’t had a bath in 2.
I want her to know that I was trying to hurry out of there because I had forgot the diaper bag at home and Brenton was hungry.
I want her to know that once we got to the parking lot the “well behaved” child decided to stand up in the cart and I wasn’t paying attention and barely caught him as he almost hit the concrete.
But most importantly I want her to know I don’t have it together and may never have it all together. I don’t know a mother out there that has it all together but everything we do is done with love for our children and that right there makes you the perfect mom and in our children’s eyes we most definitely have it all together.
From one exhausted mom to another, you’re doing great, have that melt down, let your kids eat the crap out of that cereal and take care of yourself always.
Fortner’s post resounded with parents everywhere, prompting supportive comments and reminders that Fortner’s “amazing” and a “perfect mom” (which is a nice sentiment, although Fortner’s aim seems less about perfection and more about being “good enough.” Still, her post inspired countless others, and looking through her Facebook feed, it’s easy to see why. Let’s hope this is the year we all give ourselves a little bit of a break, take a breath, and be more open about the mental health issues we’re living with. As Fortner’s post proves, we could all use the support!
