Surge Soda Is Back, Diabetes Doctors Rejoice!

09.09.15 3 years ago 12 Comments

Because nothing that died in the ’90s can stay dead, Surge’s official website recently announced the soda has returned to shelves. The citrus-tinged soda full of high-fructose corn syrup, caffeine, and Poochie the dogesquetude, was produced by Coca Cola from 1996 until 2001, when our nation’s tastes drifted toward beverages with slightly more fatal doses of stimulants. Here’s a documentary about the soda, because YouTube exists for reasons besides this, apparently.

After years of fanatical demands for the soda’s return, Coca Cola offered a limited run of Surge at $14 a six-pack that quickly sold out on Amazon last year. Now, the soda is available in numerous stores across the country. Check out the map on Surge.com to see if you can buy it a store near you. Or, on second thought, drink some water, and go for a jog instead. America has enough diabetes, already.

On a personal note, I was a tremendous fan of Surge when it was released in 1996, and I have many vivid memories of drinking Surge while I defiantly sat in the minivan during my mom’s extended shopping trips at the Save Mart. At the time, I thought that Surge was the most delicious beverage in the world. Also, at the time, I thought denim shorts, pookah shell necklaces, and Limp Bizkit were almost (but not quite) as wonderful as Surge.

Did I look this good in 1998? No. I looked better.

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Did the author look this good in 1996? No. He looked even better.

Many people will drink Surge again, and due to poor impulse control and many other deep psychological factors involving shame and food, I will likely be one of them. And when I crack open that Surge and take that first somewhat-limey, definitely-chemically sip, I hope I will feel like that sixteen year old in the Save Mart parking lot again. And though good-taste and my increasingly matronly hips will no longer allow me to fit into my old denim shorts, I know exactly which song will be playing in my head while I force that Surge down…

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