Tax Day is TODAY. Some of us lucky chumps—myself included—have been giving the federal government an interest-free loan this past year and we’ve already received our refunds. But for many, today is the day you have to finally surrender the money the government says you owe them. It’s a tough thing to do, but fret not! Many businesses have people like you in mind, and are offering Free and/or Reduced-Price Things to at least balance out the awfulness of paying taxes.
Check out the list below (alphabetized for convenience!):
Bananas Smoothies & Frozen Yogurt: “The CPA,” a special drink made with strawberries, bananas and Red Bull Yellow Edition, will be free for anyone presenting a valid CPA license on both the 17th and 18th.
BorgotaCasino.com: $10 bonus for slots with the deposit of $40 or more on April 18, using bonus code TAXDAY16.
Boston Market: Half-Chicken Individual Meal with two sides, cornbread, regular fountain drink, and a cookie priced at $10.40 (har har).
Bruegger’s Bagels: Another $10.40 deal: 13 bagels and two tubs of cream cheese.
Chili’s: $5 Presidente Margaritas (tequila, orange liqueur, and brandy).
Great American Cookies: Free chocolate chip cookie, limited to one per person.
Hand & Stone Spas: “1040 EZ Upgrade” to a hot towel hand or foot massage, peppermint scalp massage, or mini cold stone face massage for $10.40 extra, available on one-hour massages. The one-hour massage itself is also discounted $10, to $39.95.
Hard Rock Cafe: Free Local Legendary Burger when you “Sing for your Supper.” (Warm up those chops, people.)
Hydromassage: Free massage with coupon, available through the 22nd.
Kimpton Hotels: Hotel and restaurant taxes waived through April 30.
Kona Ice: Free shaved ice.
Marriott Hotels: Save up to 20% at select hotels in Washington D.C.
McDonald’s: Free small coffee at participating restaurants in Arizona, Vermont, Colorado, and Wyoming. In Dayton, Cincinnati, and Toledo, Ohio, customers who buy a Big Mac or Quarter Pounder can purchase a second for 18¢.
Noodles & Company: “Little deductibles,” AKA children, get a free kid’s meal with the purchase of any regular entree. Online orderers will get $4 off a purchase of $10 or more by entering the promo code TAXDAY at checkout.
Schlotzsky’s: Free Original Sandwich, with the purchase of a 32-oz. drink and a bag of chips.
Sonic: 50% off single-patty cheeseburgers.
Sonny’s BBQ: 50% off Sweet & Smokey or House Dry-Rubbed Rib dinners (including two sides and bread!) in what they’re calling the “Irresistible Ribs Special.” (Get it? IRS?)
Tony Roma’s: E-mail subscribers will receive a coupon for a free Red Velvet Cake, for use through April 29. (Diners at Tony Roma’s on April 18 will also receive a coupon, for use on their next visit.)
Viceroy Central Park: 18% off all 2016 bookings for rooms (including suites!) when you book on April 18.
Keep in mind that this list probably isn’t entirely comprehensive–a lot of local places do their own promotions. For example, here in Las Vegas, home of Zappos, the shoe company teams up with Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf to offer a free drink + pastry + stamp on Tax Day.
So when in doubt, go into your favorite local establishment and demand Free and/or Reduced-Price Things. It’s not as certain as death and…taxes. But it’ll probably work.