Top Chef Power Rankings, Week 13: Mansplaining Curry In Macau


This week on Top Chef, the remaining five chefs all hopped on a plane to travel to Macau (where da fuq you at, MA-CAU), the Portuguese-run, barely-legal province of China where gambling is legal and seafood is plentiful. Actually, we never actually saw the contestants get on a plane, presumably because Bravo couldn’t convince an airline to sponsor. Bummer. I wonder if they had to fly coach.

The Macau trip was a perk for the chefs who made it to the final five, except not really, because the five previously eliminated chefs also got to go, so they could be sous chefs for the remaining contestants. It happens every season. I bet it’s even more fun to just be in Macau without the pressure of trying to win the competition. I wish they’d done a spinoff episode that was just a montage of Sweaty Eddie traveling around Macau — riding on the back of a scooter, having awkward interactions with locals, getting chopsticks stuck in his sunglasses, etc.

Sidenote: can you believe Lurky Brian got to go to Macau and not Nini? Life is so unfair.

Judge Graham Eliot apparently owns a restaurant in Macau, which meant he and his stupid white frames got to play tour guide. Oddly, on his home turf in this tropical setting, Graham’s wardrobe was the most subdued it’s been all season. This meant he looked merely like a ska fan rather than a ska frontman.

The quickfire involved a trip to the market and some local seafood — including the famous stinky egg. It was a bit of a letdown to introduce the stinky egg and not make anyone eat it. Come on, Top Chef, Chekhov’s stinky egg. At the end of the challenge Graham chose a winner, which he described as, and I quote, “the person who threw down on some sick flavors.”

Graham is the dork’s Guy Fieri. I can’t decide whether he got wedgied too much as a child or not enough.

After that, the sous chefs were introduced, holding a collection of ingredients, which the remaining contestants would have to incorporate into their dishes for a Chinese New Year Celebration at the MGM Macau. In a season disappointingly light on Padma smirking at sexual entendres, we did at least get to watch her sensually slurp a shrimp head: