Top Chef Power Rankings, Episode 5: Snow Ovens & Bun Ovens

01.05.18 2 years ago 12 Comments

Paul Trantow/Bravo

At the end of every Top Chef, Tom Colicchio inevitably tells the just-eliminated chef “Buck up, Chief, we’ll see you on Last Chance Kitchen!”

That’s Bravo’s web show companion to Top Chef, by the way, which they plug at the end of every show. Every year I get all excited to watch it like Charlie Brown with his 57th shot at Lucy’s football, and every year they end anything important on a cliffhanger where they save the exciting conclusion for the actual show. Stupid me, nothing consequential is going to happen on the free web show, come on.

This year Last Chance Kitchen had an uber shocking ultra triple lindy super twist, which was actually just a variation on the twist in every reality show. Which was, surprise, they’re bringing back past contestants! The challenge between eliminated chefs from this season and the ghosts of seasons past came down to Kwame (aka Wormser) from season 13, Lee Anne from season 1, and Claudette eliminated a few episodes ago.

The prize? Getting to come back to the house! HELL YEAH, A SEAT AT THE TABLE! SEAT AT THE TABLE!

(I never thought I’d get to use a gif from The Program in these recaps)

Tom started by eliminating Kwame, presumably for serving his chicken heart dish in tiny ass bowls. Come on, Kwame, a man doesn’t want his food all constrained. A man doesn’t want to worry about spilling his food all over the table. Let that food manspread a little.

Then it came down to Lee Anne’s dumplings vs. Claudette’s unpronounceable Aztec-named thing. Another twist: it was a tie! You’re both on the show! …Man, sucks for Kwame.

The other contestants all groaned, as did I on account of my Power Rankings have to be two contestants longer this week. Thing is, Lee Anne is pregnant, and Top Chef probably couldn’t resist the built-in drama of a pregnant competitor. I hope there’s a raw shellfish-tequila pairing challenge where Lee Anne has to choose between being a Top Chef and her unborn child. Come on, Lee Anne! DO YOU WANT THIS OR NOT!

After the showdown it was off to a camping challenge, in which the chefs had to lug all their food out to the snowy woods and then cook it — including buying their cooking gear at a camping store with a $100 budget. Sure, why not. I have this theory about camping that that whiter you are the more you enjoy camping. Let’s see if it plays out!

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