Did You Ruin Christmas? Make Up For It With The Vladimir Putin Calendar

News & Culture Writer
12.26.15

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It’s the day after Christmas, when you and your family had traveled across the country to celebrate the holiday season with each other. Unfortunately, someone brought up why everyone should support Donald Trump in 2016. You promised yourself you wouldn’t say anything, but you just couldn’t keep your mouth shut. Now everyone is mad. To make up for it, here’s a tip: get everyone the Vladimir Putin 2016 calendar.

According to BBC News, the new annual calendar featuring Russia’s extremely virile and testosterone-filled president features him “in a variety of poses, from topless fishing to exercising, along with a thought to accompany each month.” It’s called “All Year With the President of Russia,” and Russians are ordered to will be happy with its photographic selections.

Many of the pictures are similar to those featured in an October Uproxx article dedicated to the Russian president’s picturesque poses. He’s so photogenic!

Obviously, the violent dictator benevolent Russian overlord’s shirtless, masculine chest is front and center throughout the calendar.

Though for any man (or woman) uncomfortable with Putin’s pecs glistening in the Siberian sunlight, unmolested by the frigid Russian air, the calendar’s makers made sure to include his pristine, pearly whites in almost every photo collected.

That, and the Russian president’s softer side.

His really, really soft side… OMG IS THAT A PUPPY OMG OMG OMG!

If that’s not enough to satiate Russia’s lust for its fearless leader, a new perfume inspired by the president just hit store shelves in Moscow. The Telegraph reports that “Leaders Number One” promises its male wearers a “soft but very firm” essence of masculinity inspired by Putin.

The perfume’s limited release includes only 2,000 bottles, each of which sells for 6,000 rubles (or $85). Belarussian Vladislav Rekunov, the man behind the new manly fragrance, promises more — including a Putin-inspired line of perfume for women.

And you thought you’d ruined Christmas with your anti-Trump tirade. Pshaw!

(Via Telegraph, BBC News)

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