As you may have heard, Seth Rogen and James Franco’s The Interview is no longer being released. Like, at all. With many a Christmas day plans ruined by — probably — North Korea, the least I can do is to put together some repeatable lines from that other famous Rogen-Franco stoner comedy.
So here I present to you, all the Pineapple Express quotes you need to get over your harshed The Interview buzz…
“You ain’t got no style, mothaf*cka.” — Matheson
Everyday use: When someone says they have “swag.”
“I used to use this little gun when I was a prostitute.” — Red
Everyday use: When someone has gone too small.
“Why would he bear arms?” — Dale
Everyday use: When the constitution isn’t helping your predicament.
“Hands down the dopest dope I’ve ever smoked.” — Saul
Everyday use: When you’ve found the pinnacle stuff.
“I look like Hamburglar! And the Elephant Man!” — Matheson
Everyday use: When you first wake up in the morning.
“You a**holes will do exactly as I say, or I will will take you outside and f*ck you in the street.” — Robert
Everyday use: When you’re the scariest person in the room.
“You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, mother f*cker.” — Red
Everyday use: When you’re still getting use out of vintage items.
“You’re in the jungle now, baby.” — Saul
Everyday use: When only a Guns N’ Roses lyric will suffice.
“It’s almost a shame to smoke it. It’s like killing a unicorn, with like, a bomb.” — Saul
Everyday use: When something is beyond rare and precious.
“I seen’t it.” — Matheson
Everyday use: When an urban legend is true.
“Thug Life.” — Red
Everyday use: If you find yourself in the same room as Kim Jong-Un.