Use These ‘Pineapple Express’ Lines To Help You Forget You Were Going To See ‘The Interview’

As you may have heard, Seth Rogen and James Franco’s The Interview is no longer being released. Like, at all. With many a Christmas day plans ruined by — probably — North Korea, the least I can do is to put together some repeatable lines from that other famous Rogen-Franco stoner comedy.

So here I present to you, all the Pineapple Express quotes you need to get over your harshed The Interview buzz…

“You ain’t got no style, mothaf*cka.” — Matheson

Everyday use: When someone says they have “swag.”

“I used to use this little gun when I was a prostitute.” — Red

Everyday use: When someone has gone too small.

“Why would he bear arms?” — Dale

Everyday use: When the constitution isn’t helping your predicament.

“Hands down the dopest dope I’ve ever smoked.” — Saul

Everyday use: When you’ve found the pinnacle stuff.

“I look like Hamburglar! And the Elephant Man!” — Matheson

Everyday use: When you first wake up in the morning.

“You a**holes will do exactly as I say, or I will will take you outside and f*ck you in the street.” — Robert

Everyday use: When you’re the scariest person in the room.

“You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, mother f*cker.” — Red

Everyday use: When you’re still getting use out of vintage items.

“You’re in the jungle now, baby.” — Saul

Everyday use: When only a Guns N’ Roses lyric will suffice.

“It’s almost a shame to smoke it. It’s like killing a unicorn, with like, a bomb.” — Saul

Everyday use: When something is beyond rare and precious.

“I seen’t it.” — Matheson

Everyday use: When an urban legend is true.

“Thug Life.” — Red

Everyday use: If you find yourself in the same room as Kim Jong-Un.