In the wee hours of the morning today, MC Hammer posted the above tweet. The tweet contains a picture of him and Harrison Ford together at 3:24 a.m. (The timestamp might say differently, but remember: time zones.) They both appear happy, and they are both wearing sunglasses indoors, and MC Hammer used the 100 emoji to describe what appears to have been a fun evening the two shared.
We have a few questions about this tweet.
1) What were MC Hammer and Harrison Ford doing at 3:30 a.m.?
This is the obvious question raised by MC Hammer’s tweet. And beyond what they were doing at 3:30 a.m., what were they doing up until 3:30 a.m. Like, had they been running amok all over town all night, doing tequila shots and singing karaoke and hanging out the sunroof of a stretch limousine. Because I’m not going to lie here, that’s what I’m picturing. MC Hammer and Harrison Ford painting the town red like two guys at the end of the first act of an ’80s movie, right before the magic spell kicks on or wears off or whatever. Think montage. A “night on the town” party montage. Like that.
2) Are MC Hammer and Harrison Ford friends?
If the first question was the most obvious, this is the most important. Did MC Hammer and Harrison Ford just run into each other this one night, or is this a regular thing? Do they hang out a lot? Does MC Hammer go to Harrison Ford’s house to watch football on Sundays? Do you think Calista Flockhart — Harrison Ford’s long-time girlfriend — is always saying, “Ugh, Harrison. I wish you would stop hanging out with MC Hammer so much and pay attention to me?”
Promise me something: If any of you ever see MC Hammer or Harrison Ford, you must find out if they are friends. Not knowing has the potential to kill me.
3) What would you do if you saw MC Hammer and Harrison Ford hanging out?
Okay, picture this…
You’re out with some friends. You’re having drinks at an upscale nightspot downtown. Real fancy. Velvet ropes, couches that cost more than your first car, bartenders who each have their own signature martini recipe, all that. It’s nice. You’re having fun.
But then. A commotion. There’s just an obnoxious amount of noise coming from the VIP area. Real rude, too, like they don’t even care that other people might be trying to have a conversation. You crane your neck to see, but your view is obscured by security staff. You stand to see just who the heck is ruining your night. Is…
Is that MC Hammer and Harrison Ford?
Oh my God.
It is MC Hammer and Harrison Ford.
What do you do?
4) Do you think Harrison Ford knows the words to an MC Hammer song?
No chance, right? Like maybe he can do the “2 Legit 2 Quit” hand thing, but that’s as far as I’ll go.
5) Harrison Ford is the coolest.
Admittedly, this last one isn’t a question, but I stand by it. Harrison Ford was Han Solo and Indiana Jones. He crash landed his airplane on a golf course, survived, and then clarified the situation by explaining, “I didn’t crash. The f*cking plane crashed!” And now — at age 73, an age when most people eat dinner at 4:45 and head to bed after Jeopardy — he is running around at 3:30 a.m. with MC Hammer, wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses inside.
I repeat: Harrison Ford is the coolest.