The first Sonic the Hedgehog trailer has it all: a Coolio song, Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik/Eggman, Fitbit and child abduction jokes, James Marsden working with another talking animal, Sonic aping Quicksilver’s bit. Actually, I take that back. It doesn’t have “all,” because where’s Knuckles? The producers must be saving him for the sequel, or the third act when he saves the day like Bill Murray in Space Jam. But the Sonic trailer does have human teeth on a hedgehog, which is a choice. (It also sounds like a folksy Southern expression. “You can put human teeth on a hedgehog, but you can’t have too many biscuits.”)
And this choice is causing a lot of teeth-based distress online.
[Sonic the Hedgehog movie pitch meeting]
Jim Carrey: [chanting] teeth, teeth –
Director: teeth, TEETH
Paramount execs [pounding the table]: TEETH, TEETH, TEETH! https://t.co/eDzzAmSjDC— Gavia Baker-Whitelaw (@Hello_Tailor) April 30, 2019
https://twitter.com/marrowing/status/1123225691900657664
Sonic has a full set of human teeth. Gangsta’s Paradise plays throughout. these are just facts!
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) April 30, 2019
Good morning to absolutely everyone and everything other than live action Sonic the Hedgehog’s creepy human teeth xx pic.twitter.com/yJX6WPW7Li
— Alanah Pearce (@Charalanahzard) April 30, 2019
https://twitter.com/jjcross237l/status/1123217927686238208
therapist: live action Sonic with realistic and separated teeth isn't real and can't hurt you
live action Sonic with realistic and separated teeth: pic.twitter.com/QWsF1kQ2yG
— nick 🍉 (@nikc_is_sad) April 30, 2019
Look its Sonic and his perfectly normal human teeth pic.twitter.com/jU3mkh9rIb
— Shadow Streak (@AShadowStreak) April 30, 2019
https://twitter.com/RachelBROwen/status/1123220824310333442
“So tell me about your last job”
“I helped animate a feature film”
“What were your specific duties?”
“I made Sonic’s teeth small/terrible” pic.twitter.com/aPeyPynezE— Jacob Oller (@JacobOller) April 30, 2019
I’ll tell you what, I’ve had a rough dang week but Sonic’s human teeth are absolutely the most challenging thing I’ve had to deal with. pic.twitter.com/kFLBxf76Bj
— Elyce Phillips (@ElycePhillips) April 30, 2019
Then again, it could have been worse.
https://twitter.com/iyagovos/status/1123223257350594561
Sonic the Hedgehog “follows the (mis)adventures of Sonic as he navigates the complexities of life on Earth with his newfound – human – best friend Tom Wachowski,” according to the official plot summary. “Sonic and Tom join forces to try and stop the villainous Dr. Robotnik from capturing Sonic and using his immense powers for world domination.” No offense to James Marsden, but Sonic would have a better shot at saving the world if he teamed up with Charmy Bee, or Big the Cat, or anyone but “Tom” and his actual-human teeth.
