Music

Avril Lavigne Has Once Again Been Pronounced Dead By The Internet In A Truly Bizarre Conspiracy Theory

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Avril Lavigne, the Suicide Squad of early- to mid-2000s Canadian mall punks, was pronounced dead by the internet in 2015, even though she was alive. Unfortunately, the “Sk8er Boi” singer has once again passed away; fortunately, she’s still with us. It’s not quite as out there as the Katy Perry/JonBenet Ramsey conspiracy theory, but one of Twitter’s favorite pastimes is spreading the theory that Lavigne died in 2003, the year after her debut album came out, and was replaced by a look-alike.

That would explain marrying the guy from Nickelback

Anyway, the speculation was explained, in great detail, by @Givenchyass (ah, if only Twitter had been around during the Paul Is Dead-era), who made a video comparing Real Avril’s 2002 hit “Complicated” (which, for what it’s worth, is still a jam) to Fake Avril potentially-racist 2014 single “Hello Kitty.”

“so let me begin this by telling you a little about avril,” @Givenchyass wrote. “she was born in ontario, canada in 1984 and her first album let go was released in 2002 when she was 18. up until this point she was so used to being able to live a normal life and now that she was famous, she couldn’t handle the paparazzi. so she decided to hire a look alike to walk around LA for her and pose for the paparazzi [side-by-side comparison]… her name is melissa vandella and they quickly became bestfriends. an unknown source says that melissa and avril were in the studio one day hanging out and they thought it would be funny to teach melissa how to sing and sound like avril (it was tipped to an unknown source). so moving on to 2003, melissa was still working for avril and avril was about to start working on her next album.”

Here’s where it gets weird, and dark.

He continued, “tragically, avril’s grandfather passed away and it hurt her so much. he was her bestfriend and her biggest supporter. she basically lost it. she was so distraught… she would lock herself in her apartment and write for weeks on end. finally she finished the songs for the next album and if you’ve heard that album.. you know what I mean when I say it’s depressing. she recorded those songs, having to frequently take breaks in between sessions to cry and calm down. she was absolutely heartbroken. other sources even said she threatened to kill herself and tried to attempt several times because she felt she couldn’t go on without him. and the next part of this theory is that she actually succeeded. it is said avril hung herself in late 2003.”

That’s only the first part of the (obviously satirical) Avril/Melissa theory — the cover-up can be found here. But all you really need to know is:

She was a sk8r gurl, we said “see you later, gurl.”

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