When not busy consoling husband Chris Martin with an endless stream of “No, no, this whiny, overwrought ballad is your BEST whiny, overwrought ballad” or yelling at her seven-year-old Vietnamese “employees” to make her $200 Goop jeans đi đi MAU, Gwyneth Paltrow has been busy putting together a playlist of summer 2012 jams. Not “jamz,” mind you, but “jams.” Yesterday, the Shakespeare In Love actress uploaded one such mix to Jay-Z’s Life + Times website, including “hot” new songs from Beach House, Grimes, and Frank Ocean, with insightful commentary like, “In the same vein as my other mellow indeed summer jams, I just like it.”
All of this assumes you are naive enough to believe that Paltrow herself assembled this carefully tailored playlist, and that the task wasn’t just assigned to a “hip” assistant who knows the cool kids out there are all about this Dr. Dre fellow. OBVIOUSLY Paltrow can’t be bothered to listen to the clean version of Chief Keef’s “I Don’t Like” while there are unsold $270 “laser etched acrylic trays” out there. You either have to suppose that, or accept that Paltrow is awesome enough to listen to a Wu-Tang Clan/Fugazi mash-up. I’m not ready to do that.