Is Shia Labeouf A Cannibal?

We here at UPROXX have always suspected that twatty factory-made Hollywood toy Shia Labeouf has a dark side. Personally, I’ve always kind of imagined him to be a guy who’d go around on Halloween groping little girls — taking full, devious advantage of the fact that it’s one of the few days per year when wearing a mask in public is permissible.

Now, the thought has crossed my mind that Shia may have even raped and murdered someone at some point, but in the end I haven’t been able to fully connect the dots of him being capable of such a thing. However, some guy named Rob Cantor has made that connection, and more — and wrote a song about Shia Labeouf the secret cannibal. Enjoy.

And for the benefit of those of you who can’t play YouTube videos at work, here’s the song in Soundcloud…

Thanks for the tip, Kevin!