Motorhead Is Launching A Rock Cruise To Blow All The Awful Bands Out Of The Water

It’s pretty fitting that the first announcement was made on Valentine’s Day, because there isn’t anything more romantic than the thought of a nice fall cruise with that special someone on what is being billed as “The Loudest Boat In The Wörld.” Later this year, the world’s most devoted rock fans will have the chance to hit the open waters with Ian “Lemmy” Kilmister, Phil “Wizzö” Campbell and Mikkey Dee, because Motorhead is launching its very own rock cruise, known as Motörhead’s MotörBoat, and you can bet that it’s going to be as obnoxious as it is loud.

According to the event’s Facebook page, dates for the cruise are still in the works, as are the more important details like, you know, what kind of cruise ship will be hosting such debauchery and how much tickets will cost. Again, it’s still very early, but I’m going to assume that you can pay with whiskey and shredded denim. Although, if this boat doesn’t offer fans a chance to fire torpedoes at the Smash Mouth/Sugar Ray “rock” cruise, then I’d consider asking for my whiskey back.

Motörhead’s MotörBoat is actually great news for fans, after the band was forced to postpone and ultimately cancel its European tour due to Lemmy suffering a hematoma last year. The shows were supposed to resume as planned this month, but the band decided in January that Lemmy still wasn’t strong enough to hit the road. With this new rock cruise announcement, it looks like Motörhead is going to come back hard with the ultimate three R’s – rest, relaxation and mother f*cking rock n’ roll. I guess that’s four R’s.

Also, I think that Brendan Fraser should be on hand as the celebrity host and offer a full retrospective on Airheads before singing “Born to Raise Hell” with the band. Then they can throw him overboard and set a crate of his movies on fire.