In a post-VMAs news cycle, follow-up stories can be unpredictable, wide-ranging, and (ultimately) scarce. So, when the media got wind of a possible on-camera fart delivered by Taylor Swift, hoo boy. TMZ claims to have unaltered footage of Swift on the mic right before she introduced her “Wildest Dreams” video. TMZ may authentically believe that Swift farted in this video, or perhaps they simply inserted the proper noise as Swift squatted. You be the judge.
Let’s just say I have doubts that this amazing feat is even physically possible. Swift always maintains a curious sense of control over her entire image. She is nothing if not a perfect lady. In addition, the outfit she was wearing couldn’t possibly permit such a noise to escape. If she really needed to break wind, she could have done so under the cloak of a Nicki Minaj hug. After all, Nicki had other things on her mind and never would have noticed.
The timing of the mystery noise is interesting. Swift popped a squat at just the right moment. Her facial expression could have been a dead giveaway. And look at Karlie Kloss’ reaction. She looks as surprised as Rebel Wilson did when Nicki came for Miley Cyrus.
MTV was quick to hit up TMZ with a denial. Their mics are “so directional,” so there’s “absolutely no possibility” that Swift could have farted that audibly on camera. Notice they didn’t actually deny a fart happened, just that it couldn’t have been too righteous.
Tweets from the night of the VMAs do indicate something was amiss.
In conclusion, Taylor Swift probably did not fart on camera, but fart patrol is fun.
Let’s do this again with feeling.